IM BACK ....
AFTER THE DEMISE OF MY MOTHER,FINALLY IM BACK TO WRITING....
Still, im not fully recovered from the loss of my mother but BABA has finally
helped me to go on with my life....
Im now setteled with my kids and our grandson....the blessing from God in the form of my grandson,what else can i say...he has helped to heal my wound of sorrow....now i see my own mom in him...he reminds me of my mom in everything he does...i feel my mom has come back to me..... and im happy to nurture him....thanks ,God, for making my life joyful and happy.....
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Mom.....
.....when u lose ur mom,u have lost everything.....
.....nothing u do or say will ever be the same ........
.....happiness might be urs but without its joy.......
.....smiles can be urs but without its glow...............
.....the whole world can be urs but without its life...
.....when u lose ur mother ,u have lost everything...
......and i have lost my mother and things will never be the same.....
my dear mother,i miss u..............
.....nothing u do or say will ever be the same ........
.....happiness might be urs but without its joy.......
.....smiles can be urs but without its glow...............
.....the whole world can be urs but without its life...
.....when u lose ur mother ,u have lost everything...
......and i have lost my mother and things will never be the same.....
my dear mother,i miss u..............
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Pay Day!
I just remembered the glory of 'pay days' of my childhood years!It was pay days that created moods of festivity among the elders and young ones...
Pay day mornings invariably downed with a promise of joy and relief for the tappers who had been sweating,toiling,tending very hard and relentless to produce gallons after gallons of the latex(rubber).
Every fortnight,(usually in the middle of the month)there would be an allowance called 'belanja' which would be paid out to the estate workers and another much more bigger amount would be paid on the pay day(gaji) at the end of the month.
on pay day,everyone would be smiling! Every face would be a mask of happiness,awaiting the call for the pay out in the evening.
Most of my mom's friends would be assembled on our bench,eating beetle leaves and spitting the red saliva glory into the drain that run along my home.On this bench many promises would be made,pay back debts,pay back emergency loans(my mom used to be the unofficial money lender of sorts,i think,who never asked back loans unless one wished to pay back! and these ladies sometimes paid back and most of the times,gave excuses and my mom would only shrug her shoulders and look up to heaven and smile!)
I made many 'lady enemies' bcoz i would sneak behind these liars and demand they pay back my mom's ringgit and cents!And for this act I unfailingly got a 'shoo off' from them with their fingers threatening warnings and at times when I called them ungrateful dogs,I also earned verbal insults which I would shrug off as dust and walk on,with my head held high.
At school,the mood was same as that of our elders.As the afternoon dragged on,the children became so fidgety and their impatient was so palpable that the HM always released us almost half an hour earlier most of the time!He would ring the bell unusually for a longer time and we would scream with joy and glee as we fetched our things to get out of our classrooms....all heading for home to get a bath at the public tap as not to line up in queue with the adults at home! As i walked home with a majestic gait,not rushing,cool walk,I wanted to show off to my 'subjects' that I had special privileges ,as my dad was the head 'Kangani'(supervisor),we enjoyed an extra tap right in front of our home which made it possible for me to bath for hours at will if I want.Maybe such privileges from the estate management were the causes which added to my 'sometimes snobbish,mean attitude ' towards others...!
I still remember one of those pay days very well,though...My sister had cooked egg curry and spinach with coconut on that day.And there was the usual lime pickles too,of which I never failed to help myself to a generous portion with my afternoon meals,which added a severe sourish taste to my taste buds,much to my mom's scorn though.
I was very well into my lunch when I noticed a shadow behind one of the wooden pillars on my 'five foot'(porch) .I was sitting on the wooden bench (my usual lunch hub)and the shadow turned into a figure.His back was now turned towards me so i quickly got of my bench and walked towards this 'spy' so stealthily that he did not notice me till I was right behind him,and let out a holler that he almost tripped and fell into the drain,almost,luckily god saved him,i guess!
The spy was non other than the Loose,i discovered,and kicked his thigh hardly since i still had my lunch plate in my hands.He grinned sheepishly and rubbed his thigh and asked me if I wanted to play 'thiefantpolice' after my lunch.As he stammered ,he tried to control his drooling,which started to flood his taste buds as the smell of spicy egg curry and pickles entered his nostrils.
I noticed his suffering and in a moment of kindness asked him casually if he would have some rice at my home since the curry was good and if he wanted I could go in get a plate?The Loose obviously didn't expect this show of kindness from me,the tyrant leader,but realized he couldn't let go of this rare moment and shook his head vigorously in consent.
He seated himself on the bench and was waiting for my goodwill plate of the day.When i handed him his plate full of rice and egg curry with the pickle,he devoured it,that's what it was,simple gobbling of good food which had to be eaten with compliment,but he devoured it!It was like,'now i see it,now i don't' kind of haste.
He seemed so ravenous he didn't even wash his hands!I just looked on for him to finish,thinking about one of my mother's wisdom statements, 'Once hunger strikes,all ten codes of conduct will fly out through the door...!'I was grateful to god at that instant that i had never been hungry and wished I would never be hungry in my life for anything.
Once he finished his meal,i told him to stop licking his fingers and wash his hands at the tap.He told me his granny didn't give him any lunch bcoz he failed to bring home firewood after school!I was so angry I dragged him to his house to confront his granny.She was in the kitchen and I called out to her so loudly her neighbour told me to shut up my 'volume'!
'Katthayee patti!' I wanted to ask her the Loose had the right to his lunch after school,isn't it?How can he go to the woods to look for firewood on a school day?And does his parents know that his grandma deprived him his lunch and now is eating all the rice herself?When I saw what she was eating,I got a shock! The rice in her plate was burnt,burnt and brown,and she told me to sit down first before i spat out any more accusations.
She told me that neither the Loose or his siblings wanted to eat this burnt rice,and she asked me whats wrong with burnt rice?Its just that it has been overcooked,and very brittle to touch but does this Loose and her siblings know whats her age is?She had forgotten about the rice in her haste to prepare the curry for the rice,and non of these children helped her with cooking.She told me that she was half blind as I knew,and these people had no kindness for her health.I was already feeling so sheepish for my hasty attitude and asked her if I could be of any help.
Old lady Kaathayee looked at me hard and intense for a moment and told me,'Muthu,never ,ever throw away rice,whether its burnt or leftover,for if anyone does that,they would have to walk a mile for single grain of rice later in their life!
I walked back home and asked my mother if it was true and my mother sat me down in her lap and told me what Kaathayee said was true. I made a promise to myself that I would respect the rice from now on,and no matter how much my mom dished out on my plate ,I would eat it all up,though I got a stomach ache after that.
Pay day mornings invariably downed with a promise of joy and relief for the tappers who had been sweating,toiling,tending very hard and relentless to produce gallons after gallons of the latex(rubber).
Every fortnight,(usually in the middle of the month)there would be an allowance called 'belanja' which would be paid out to the estate workers and another much more bigger amount would be paid on the pay day(gaji) at the end of the month.
on pay day,everyone would be smiling! Every face would be a mask of happiness,awaiting the call for the pay out in the evening.
Most of my mom's friends would be assembled on our bench,eating beetle leaves and spitting the red saliva glory into the drain that run along my home.On this bench many promises would be made,pay back debts,pay back emergency loans(my mom used to be the unofficial money lender of sorts,i think,who never asked back loans unless one wished to pay back! and these ladies sometimes paid back and most of the times,gave excuses and my mom would only shrug her shoulders and look up to heaven and smile!)
I made many 'lady enemies' bcoz i would sneak behind these liars and demand they pay back my mom's ringgit and cents!And for this act I unfailingly got a 'shoo off' from them with their fingers threatening warnings and at times when I called them ungrateful dogs,I also earned verbal insults which I would shrug off as dust and walk on,with my head held high.
At school,the mood was same as that of our elders.As the afternoon dragged on,the children became so fidgety and their impatient was so palpable that the HM always released us almost half an hour earlier most of the time!He would ring the bell unusually for a longer time and we would scream with joy and glee as we fetched our things to get out of our classrooms....all heading for home to get a bath at the public tap as not to line up in queue with the adults at home! As i walked home with a majestic gait,not rushing,cool walk,I wanted to show off to my 'subjects' that I had special privileges ,as my dad was the head 'Kangani'(supervisor),we enjoyed an extra tap right in front of our home which made it possible for me to bath for hours at will if I want.Maybe such privileges from the estate management were the causes which added to my 'sometimes snobbish,mean attitude ' towards others...!
I still remember one of those pay days very well,though...My sister had cooked egg curry and spinach with coconut on that day.And there was the usual lime pickles too,of which I never failed to help myself to a generous portion with my afternoon meals,which added a severe sourish taste to my taste buds,much to my mom's scorn though.
I was very well into my lunch when I noticed a shadow behind one of the wooden pillars on my 'five foot'(porch) .I was sitting on the wooden bench (my usual lunch hub)and the shadow turned into a figure.His back was now turned towards me so i quickly got of my bench and walked towards this 'spy' so stealthily that he did not notice me till I was right behind him,and let out a holler that he almost tripped and fell into the drain,almost,luckily god saved him,i guess!
The spy was non other than the Loose,i discovered,and kicked his thigh hardly since i still had my lunch plate in my hands.He grinned sheepishly and rubbed his thigh and asked me if I wanted to play 'thiefantpolice' after my lunch.As he stammered ,he tried to control his drooling,which started to flood his taste buds as the smell of spicy egg curry and pickles entered his nostrils.
I noticed his suffering and in a moment of kindness asked him casually if he would have some rice at my home since the curry was good and if he wanted I could go in get a plate?The Loose obviously didn't expect this show of kindness from me,the tyrant leader,but realized he couldn't let go of this rare moment and shook his head vigorously in consent.
He seated himself on the bench and was waiting for my goodwill plate of the day.When i handed him his plate full of rice and egg curry with the pickle,he devoured it,that's what it was,simple gobbling of good food which had to be eaten with compliment,but he devoured it!It was like,'now i see it,now i don't' kind of haste.
He seemed so ravenous he didn't even wash his hands!I just looked on for him to finish,thinking about one of my mother's wisdom statements, 'Once hunger strikes,all ten codes of conduct will fly out through the door...!'I was grateful to god at that instant that i had never been hungry and wished I would never be hungry in my life for anything.
Once he finished his meal,i told him to stop licking his fingers and wash his hands at the tap.He told me his granny didn't give him any lunch bcoz he failed to bring home firewood after school!I was so angry I dragged him to his house to confront his granny.She was in the kitchen and I called out to her so loudly her neighbour told me to shut up my 'volume'!
'Katthayee patti!' I wanted to ask her the Loose had the right to his lunch after school,isn't it?How can he go to the woods to look for firewood on a school day?And does his parents know that his grandma deprived him his lunch and now is eating all the rice herself?When I saw what she was eating,I got a shock! The rice in her plate was burnt,burnt and brown,and she told me to sit down first before i spat out any more accusations.
She told me that neither the Loose or his siblings wanted to eat this burnt rice,and she asked me whats wrong with burnt rice?Its just that it has been overcooked,and very brittle to touch but does this Loose and her siblings know whats her age is?She had forgotten about the rice in her haste to prepare the curry for the rice,and non of these children helped her with cooking.She told me that she was half blind as I knew,and these people had no kindness for her health.I was already feeling so sheepish for my hasty attitude and asked her if I could be of any help.
Old lady Kaathayee looked at me hard and intense for a moment and told me,'Muthu,never ,ever throw away rice,whether its burnt or leftover,for if anyone does that,they would have to walk a mile for single grain of rice later in their life!
I walked back home and asked my mother if it was true and my mother sat me down in her lap and told me what Kaathayee said was true. I made a promise to myself that I would respect the rice from now on,and no matter how much my mom dished out on my plate ,I would eat it all up,though I got a stomach ache after that.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The tamarind tree
The estate was divided into many sections,quarters for the tappers which were commonly known as 'layams'(lines),the temple area,which stood at the heart of the estate'hub', the Tamil school was beside the temple and the sundry shops were directly opposite the school,though at a discreet distance from it.The school field divided the upper part of the estate from the lowlands and those 'layams'.
The estate workers were from various ethnic groups,the Indians, Chinese and Malays,The Indian population dominated the estates in those days, followed by Chinese and Malays . Though they they were different by racial and religious aspects,the entire community lived in harmony and peace. The rubber tappers were simple people with simple needs and to them racial and religious factors were not the yardstick to measure human values and humanity.Here everyone was known to everyone else,and if Raman's child was sick,Ah Chong's wife made Chinese traditional herbs soup for him and if Ahmad's wife had migraine,Somu's mom made garlic paste for her and sent it to her together with brinjals from her vegetable plot......such was the unique lifestyle we all had during my childhood as an estate dweller.
My house was one of four special houses which stood just beside the sundry shops.These four houses were bigger,two bedrooms,one hall,a kitchen and a five foot(porch?)with wooden fencing and a rectangular bench taking up almost half the width of it.The bench had multiple purpose,it was where i conducted my 'gang' meetings with my friends and played 'thayam' ,'pallangkuli' and 'masak-masak',etc...etc..
At night,it was the platform where my father sat cross legged majestically and narrated tales after tales from the Mahabaratha and Ramayana.I used to sit cross legged with a sarong covering my entire form within its comfort ,both the ends of the sarong securely pulled over my head,displaying just a fraction of my eager face,listening to my father's storytelling. His audience were my mother's very close friends,Chinnathyee and Rukkumani ,both my sisters and sometimes when he was not already drunk and sleepy from the 'toddy',Chinnathayee's husband would also join us.Its was a bench with many silent tales embedded within its wooden planks,im sure! Also its where i practised my first scribbles and later drawings of 'orang lidi'(hihihi)
Beside my house was the estate's badminton court and at the back of my house,my mother had fenced off the huge vacant plot of land and had turned it into a vegetable garden . She had also grown guava,rambutan, mango and jackfruit trees along the edge of the entire plot.And the Tamarind tree stood directly behind our backdoor, only about 500 metres away and my mother told me it was a hundred year old tree and it had magic powers!It was a very huge, tall tree with branches spreading wild and rich with tamarind fruits!The tamarind tree was constantly under attack by the estate kids,who seemed to derive great pleasure in fighting imaginary owls,birds and even demons which resided on top of the tree !And the moment I relax my guard,they would not hesistate to take a shot at the juicy ,sour tamarind fruits,which stimulated ones taste buds whenever one lays his or her eye on them!
Whatever their intention,aim or wish,those who dared to come near my tamarind tree had to 'pass thorugh' me,the possessive owner,who guarded it like a jealous hen guarding her chicks!
Almost all my afternoons were spent around it,under it or near it,with my friends and I,playing 'hide and seek','theif and police' or 'uuulong' and the occasinal 'masak-masak'.
Everyday,after school and lunch,i would go to my tamarind tree and hug it,going around it in circles bcoz i couldnt reach its entire width with my hands.I inhaled its scent of bark and juice,tasted the peel offs and ate its sour young leaves and enjoy to squint my eyes and swallow the surge of saliva which dribbled from my mouth.(I wish i still had my tamarind tree with me!)
My father had put up a swing for me on one of its branches during one school vacation and it became an instant attraction among the young ones and also adults!I made sure i glued myself to my swing for a whole week,so much so that my mother had to feed me my meals while I was on it!
........"aaaahhh...new broom always sweeps clean....let the monkey enjoy it as long as she wants...for by next week,the swing would also be as lonely as the tamarind tree....." It was the old lady Maniamma,my staunch enemy,who made the comment while she walked past the tree.On a normal occasion,I would have retorted a very hurting insult at her but for now I was just happy swinging to and fro,enjoying the gush of the wind on my face,making me feel like the Princess I imagined myself to be...For now this bliss was enough for me.And old lady Maniamma had a right to dish out that comment i guess,as she was the victim of a very'sinister'theft of her ripe guavas which had mysteriously disappeared into thin air just that morning and I was the prime suspect! And i knew old lady Maniamma was only trying to dig my mouth,provoking me to let out valuable info as to the missing guavas...and I knew when to keep my shut tight as a purse,as to protect my own hide, as well as my friends. But i couldnt help myself from giggling secretly as i savoured the great moments of fright and thrill of that morning escapade with my friends at old lady Maniamma's guava tree!
The estate workers were from various ethnic groups,the Indians, Chinese and Malays,The Indian population dominated the estates in those days, followed by Chinese and Malays . Though they they were different by racial and religious aspects,the entire community lived in harmony and peace. The rubber tappers were simple people with simple needs and to them racial and religious factors were not the yardstick to measure human values and humanity.Here everyone was known to everyone else,and if Raman's child was sick,Ah Chong's wife made Chinese traditional herbs soup for him and if Ahmad's wife had migraine,Somu's mom made garlic paste for her and sent it to her together with brinjals from her vegetable plot......such was the unique lifestyle we all had during my childhood as an estate dweller.
My house was one of four special houses which stood just beside the sundry shops.These four houses were bigger,two bedrooms,one hall,a kitchen and a five foot(porch?)with wooden fencing and a rectangular bench taking up almost half the width of it.The bench had multiple purpose,it was where i conducted my 'gang' meetings with my friends and played 'thayam' ,'pallangkuli' and 'masak-masak',etc...etc..
At night,it was the platform where my father sat cross legged majestically and narrated tales after tales from the Mahabaratha and Ramayana.I used to sit cross legged with a sarong covering my entire form within its comfort ,both the ends of the sarong securely pulled over my head,displaying just a fraction of my eager face,listening to my father's storytelling. His audience were my mother's very close friends,Chinnathyee and Rukkumani ,both my sisters and sometimes when he was not already drunk and sleepy from the 'toddy',Chinnathayee's husband would also join us.Its was a bench with many silent tales embedded within its wooden planks,im sure! Also its where i practised my first scribbles and later drawings of 'orang lidi'(hihihi)
Beside my house was the estate's badminton court and at the back of my house,my mother had fenced off the huge vacant plot of land and had turned it into a vegetable garden . She had also grown guava,rambutan, mango and jackfruit trees along the edge of the entire plot.And the Tamarind tree stood directly behind our backdoor, only about 500 metres away and my mother told me it was a hundred year old tree and it had magic powers!It was a very huge, tall tree with branches spreading wild and rich with tamarind fruits!The tamarind tree was constantly under attack by the estate kids,who seemed to derive great pleasure in fighting imaginary owls,birds and even demons which resided on top of the tree !And the moment I relax my guard,they would not hesistate to take a shot at the juicy ,sour tamarind fruits,which stimulated ones taste buds whenever one lays his or her eye on them!
Whatever their intention,aim or wish,those who dared to come near my tamarind tree had to 'pass thorugh' me,the possessive owner,who guarded it like a jealous hen guarding her chicks!
Almost all my afternoons were spent around it,under it or near it,with my friends and I,playing 'hide and seek','theif and police' or 'uuulong' and the occasinal 'masak-masak'.
Everyday,after school and lunch,i would go to my tamarind tree and hug it,going around it in circles bcoz i couldnt reach its entire width with my hands.I inhaled its scent of bark and juice,tasted the peel offs and ate its sour young leaves and enjoy to squint my eyes and swallow the surge of saliva which dribbled from my mouth.(I wish i still had my tamarind tree with me!)
My father had put up a swing for me on one of its branches during one school vacation and it became an instant attraction among the young ones and also adults!I made sure i glued myself to my swing for a whole week,so much so that my mother had to feed me my meals while I was on it!
........"aaaahhh...new broom always sweeps clean....let the monkey enjoy it as long as she wants...for by next week,the swing would also be as lonely as the tamarind tree....." It was the old lady Maniamma,my staunch enemy,who made the comment while she walked past the tree.On a normal occasion,I would have retorted a very hurting insult at her but for now I was just happy swinging to and fro,enjoying the gush of the wind on my face,making me feel like the Princess I imagined myself to be...For now this bliss was enough for me.And old lady Maniamma had a right to dish out that comment i guess,as she was the victim of a very'sinister'theft of her ripe guavas which had mysteriously disappeared into thin air just that morning and I was the prime suspect! And i knew old lady Maniamma was only trying to dig my mouth,provoking me to let out valuable info as to the missing guavas...and I knew when to keep my shut tight as a purse,as to protect my own hide, as well as my friends. But i couldnt help myself from giggling secretly as i savoured the great moments of fright and thrill of that morning escapade with my friends at old lady Maniamma's guava tree!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Mission Impossible!
Well the entire mission was a great disappointment in the end bcoz the as we were peeking at the 'Mem' from behind the hazelnut tree,she somehow sensed our presence and stopped her afternoon stroll,stared directly at the hazelnut tree and called out for Kaattu Muniandy,the guard,who was enjoying his afternoon siesta for sure in his hut,and when he appeared,gesticulated dramatically towards the hazelnut tree! I saw him nodding his head vigourously,and the next thing i knew,he shot like an arrow towards the tree !
I almost fainted in fright but managed to shout hasty command to my gang and we started on a marathon down the hill!The slippery soil,the thorny bushes and even the looming trees seemed to have vanished and I had only one aim that was not to be caught by the guard!As i ran,i looked over my shoulder and to my horror,the Loose was not in the race!(The next day,i learned that the guard had gained on him and caught him and slapped him a hundred slaps across his face and handed him over to his father,who in turn heated the fork and marked his forearm and grounded him within his dwelling for the next few days.We promised to treat him to ais kacang when we next met bcoz obiviously he did not betray our secret!)
We were safely back at the temple and were panting for breath like dogs,heaving and sighing noisily.The temple's priest passed us by and stopped short to hurl insults at us for being a lazy lot .I couldnt trade a lashback as I was still short of breath and I just let him have his say.As he gave us another look of disdain,he must have sensed that we were draped in some sort of guilt,for he decided to take this chance to be more insulting .He warned us not to go near his hibiscus plants,bcoz some theives had been stealing the flower buds and now there was a shortage of flowers for prayers.And he had complaine to the temple committee about it and the thieves would definately be caught very soon...and when it happens he would personally wield his own punishment on thier backs for sure..Casting another look of disdain,he hurried away and we were now all by ourselves, feeling tired and weak after the great run.
I was beginning to feel hungry and it was almost time for my tea.But I wanted to wait for the missing sheep from my flock(the Loose)whose fate was yet unknown to us.As the minutes ticked by,my friends began to doze off awkwardly against the temple wall and my stomach was starting to ramble.I quickly called them to stand up for the circle of vow,and each of us promised not to utter a word regarding the afternoon escapade,as God Kali as our witness,would dig our eyes out if the promise was broken.With that we parted company and I strolled back home deeply in thought.The 'Mem' seemed to resemble the heroine of an English serial i had been following on the estate television,and i really wanted to get a closer look at her whiteness.Even from far,she looked like a white goddess with blond hair and a preety dress.I heaved a sigh of relief though when i entered my home and the smell of onion bajjis and tea made me forget for the time being all my days misfortunes and the Loose!
I almost fainted in fright but managed to shout hasty command to my gang and we started on a marathon down the hill!The slippery soil,the thorny bushes and even the looming trees seemed to have vanished and I had only one aim that was not to be caught by the guard!As i ran,i looked over my shoulder and to my horror,the Loose was not in the race!(The next day,i learned that the guard had gained on him and caught him and slapped him a hundred slaps across his face and handed him over to his father,who in turn heated the fork and marked his forearm and grounded him within his dwelling for the next few days.We promised to treat him to ais kacang when we next met bcoz obiviously he did not betray our secret!)
We were safely back at the temple and were panting for breath like dogs,heaving and sighing noisily.The temple's priest passed us by and stopped short to hurl insults at us for being a lazy lot .I couldnt trade a lashback as I was still short of breath and I just let him have his say.As he gave us another look of disdain,he must have sensed that we were draped in some sort of guilt,for he decided to take this chance to be more insulting .He warned us not to go near his hibiscus plants,bcoz some theives had been stealing the flower buds and now there was a shortage of flowers for prayers.And he had complaine to the temple committee about it and the thieves would definately be caught very soon...and when it happens he would personally wield his own punishment on thier backs for sure..Casting another look of disdain,he hurried away and we were now all by ourselves, feeling tired and weak after the great run.
I was beginning to feel hungry and it was almost time for my tea.But I wanted to wait for the missing sheep from my flock(the Loose)whose fate was yet unknown to us.As the minutes ticked by,my friends began to doze off awkwardly against the temple wall and my stomach was starting to ramble.I quickly called them to stand up for the circle of vow,and each of us promised not to utter a word regarding the afternoon escapade,as God Kali as our witness,would dig our eyes out if the promise was broken.With that we parted company and I strolled back home deeply in thought.The 'Mem' seemed to resemble the heroine of an English serial i had been following on the estate television,and i really wanted to get a closer look at her whiteness.Even from far,she looked like a white goddess with blond hair and a preety dress.I heaved a sigh of relief though when i entered my home and the smell of onion bajjis and tea made me forget for the time being all my days misfortunes and the Loose!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
The Secret Mission Part two
We were fidgety during class the next day ,our minds full of nothing but our afternoon escapade to the "dorai's bunglow on the hilltop.I was caught day dreaming by my Maths teacher who was a tyrant and was caned 10 times for not answering,and only I knew that I didnt hear his question bcoz i was far ,far away deep in my imaginary land of kaleidoscopic bliss..." a sum sooooooo simple even a one year old can give the answer in a second...the total of 200 plus 209!"I cried out in pain and that got me an extra bonus of 3 more lashes ,bcoz the Maths teacher firmly seemed to beleive that when a pupil crys out in pain,it means she or he was asking for more!!! And I
There were deep red marks on my palm,and i was able to hide it from my mom when she served lunch.(In those days,when we got a sound caning from teachers,we never uttered a word about it to our elders for fear of being thrashed a second time even more painfully bcoz mostly our elders did not use canes as our teachers but they used blocks of wood!)
I gulped my lunch hastily and sped towards our rendezvous near the foothills.When I reached the riverbank,my entire gang was there,waiting anxiously for me and the Loose was as usual sitting alone on top of the rock in the middle of the shallow river staring unseeingly at nothing. He looked so pathetic that i felt so sorry for him and beckoned him to come and get a share of the biscuits that i was able to grab in my haste,for I knew some of my friends wouldnt have had their lunch. The Loose looked at me with grateful eyes and partook of the fare and we sat and munched the Mary biscuits ,while waiting for the only missing member,Rani,who seemed to be late for unknown reason . The Loose started to whistle some obscure tune and we were kind of enjoying this biscuit munching by the riverbank.
The Loose suddenly gasped loudly and the reason for it was,the sudden entry of Rani with her 'big mouth' younger sister !We all began shouting at the same time at the now very frightened Rani,who was quivering visibly with uncontrolled tears running down her pink,fat cheeks.
'.....Im sorry...Im sorry..."quiped Rani,casting fleeting glances at us for mercy.Her sister ,the 'big mouth',seemed to be enjoying all these fuss as her elder sister stood shivering with fright,fearing the wrath of our gang! As the gang leader,I rolled my eyes at heavenward as I dragged Rani aside from the group and demanded an explanation.She has obviously breached the sacred rule of secrecy and i was furious with her!
Amidst sobs and tears ,Rani told me the reason for bringing the big mouth. The big mouth had evesdropped on her conversation with one of the members the night before and blackmailed herself into our mission!As i stared at the big mouth ,she adopted a meeky look and started to scratch her lice infested hair...
I shrugged my shoulders like an adult and walked back to the gang and made my decision clear that the big mouth had to be included in the day's mission for the sake of guarding our secret and everyone agreed.So,the days mission began with an intruder as our unwanted guest and we set off towards the dorai's bunglow.
There were deep red marks on my palm,and i was able to hide it from my mom when she served lunch.(In those days,when we got a sound caning from teachers,we never uttered a word about it to our elders for fear of being thrashed a second time even more painfully bcoz mostly our elders did not use canes as our teachers but they used blocks of wood!)
I gulped my lunch hastily and sped towards our rendezvous near the foothills.When I reached the riverbank,my entire gang was there,waiting anxiously for me and the Loose was as usual sitting alone on top of the rock in the middle of the shallow river staring unseeingly at nothing. He looked so pathetic that i felt so sorry for him and beckoned him to come and get a share of the biscuits that i was able to grab in my haste,for I knew some of my friends wouldnt have had their lunch. The Loose looked at me with grateful eyes and partook of the fare and we sat and munched the Mary biscuits ,while waiting for the only missing member,Rani,who seemed to be late for unknown reason . The Loose started to whistle some obscure tune and we were kind of enjoying this biscuit munching by the riverbank.
The Loose suddenly gasped loudly and the reason for it was,the sudden entry of Rani with her 'big mouth' younger sister !We all began shouting at the same time at the now very frightened Rani,who was quivering visibly with uncontrolled tears running down her pink,fat cheeks.
'.....Im sorry...Im sorry..."quiped Rani,casting fleeting glances at us for mercy.Her sister ,the 'big mouth',seemed to be enjoying all these fuss as her elder sister stood shivering with fright,fearing the wrath of our gang! As the gang leader,I rolled my eyes at heavenward as I dragged Rani aside from the group and demanded an explanation.She has obviously breached the sacred rule of secrecy and i was furious with her!
Amidst sobs and tears ,Rani told me the reason for bringing the big mouth. The big mouth had evesdropped on her conversation with one of the members the night before and blackmailed herself into our mission!As i stared at the big mouth ,she adopted a meeky look and started to scratch her lice infested hair...
I shrugged my shoulders like an adult and walked back to the gang and made my decision clear that the big mouth had to be included in the day's mission for the sake of guarding our secret and everyone agreed.So,the days mission began with an intruder as our unwanted guest and we set off towards the dorai's bunglow.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
The secret mission
The rainy season had started and we knew it was only days away before the long school holidays,which would mark the end of the year school term and report cards...frowns..sighs..anger...outbursts and finally the signing. Getting the parent to sign the progress card was the only task each and every pupil of the estate Tamil school faced at the end of every term and the 'smart ones' never cared 'a sen ' for it.They were even eagerly looking forward for that occasion,where after the signing, the smart ones usually got some reward in the form of cash which made them feel somehow above the others who did not fare well.
The day after the 'signing' was usually a time for treats at the tawkey's sundry shop,when the 'smart ones' flaunted their prized coins with the Quees's insignia before treting themselves and also their unlucky friends with sour plum sweets,nuts ice-creams and 'pillow sweets' and the popular 'tikam',where the kids paid five sen and tried their luck by spinning the wheel and await their lucky number of ice-creams!
The old tawkey always made sure that non of us spinned the wheel more than once each turn and i wished some other customer would come and distract him just for a second so that i could have a second go for free,but it never happened.
So it was after such a treat that i was sitting with my friends and sucking on the sourplums, enjoying their looks of gratitude towards my kindness and i felt my place as my gang's leader will never be replaced and the feeling gave me a blissful sense of fpeace. The night before,my father gave me a fifty sen coin and patted me on my back for being the top student in the school(a position which i was able to hold to all through my primary schooling years) No one outshined me and i was too proud at times and even challenged my seniors to 'cut' me in any of the exams!
I was enjoying my sourplum noisily and grimaced when the sourness tickled my taste buds and drank the saliva with satisfaction. I noticed that my friends were too engrossed in the sucking process to notice a distant form thundering towards our group.I didnt care much for this vision and we were peacefully engrossed in our task when our calm surrounding was rudely shattered by a sudden shriek!I almost choked on my sourplum when the object of the thunderous shriek presented itself very unceremoniously in our midst,gasping for breath,and dropped to its knees and coughed out clogged flagme and spit.
'Cheeeeeeeeeeeee!' I shreiked angrily when a droplet from the spit landed on one of my toes and planted a hard noisy slap on its owner who in turn cried out and fell on his back!None of my friends liked this 'species' who was the target of snide remarks,insults,jokes and often kicks and pushes from everyone at school because he was the 'Loose'.It was an unwritten law that if you are a Loose,you had to endure mistreatment and never dare to complain about it !
The Loose happened to be one of my gang friends since nobody else wanted to include him in their gang. i was kind enough to accept him despite the fact that none of my other friends wanted him as one of us.I managed to cool them down with a promise that the Loose would be kicked out from our gang by the end of the year and i also reminded them to think about who braved the river to look for clay for our Art lessons and who equally braved the big ,muddy canal to look out for worms so that we could all go fishing in the estate river?
This fact shut them up for good and they began to tolarate his presence with dismay.
The loose cried out loudly in mock pain,as i guessed,because i always knew when one was faking pain,and this time the Loose was acting so that his cry would earn him the remaining sourplum which Ihad in my tightly closed palm.As I sucked on the plum,he could no longer contain the flow of saliva from his own mouth and looked at me pitifully looking for a trace of kindness in my eyes.
'What do you want now!' I thundered at him,still reeling from the shock of his jolting presence.My friends clamoured around me,their leader,and were giving him looks of dismay and hate.The Loose stood up clumsily and pretended to nurse the pain on his back.This only earned him a merciless look from me and he knew he had to play his cards well before i suckled on the remaining sour plum.
He blurted out in a shrill tone,"The new thorai has come!He brought his wife and also kids!
It was the gossip of the estate folks that their European thorai had returned to his homeland to bring back his family before Christmas ans they continued gossiping for weeks regarding the fate of his local mistress who was a Chinese damsel from another estate who came in as an helping hand for the cook and ended up as his mistress!
I had heard my mother talking about it with her friends and since i was shooed away whenever I was spotted near them,i never quite knew what a mistress was.I asked my teacher the meaning and got a stern look and a verbal warning not to repeat it,So i presumed this word was one of those words which belonged to the list of 'no meaning for children'and almost lost interest until a while ago.
I beckoned the Loose to come closer and gave him one of my 'no nonsense or else' look and said, "Tell the truth and not a lie,u beggar,unless you dare to lie and lose your eyes to Goddess Kali,who knows every lie when it was uttered,so help you god!" My warning even scared me as it also scared the wits out of all those around me and the Loose quickly sucked in his own flagm and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.My timely reminder of the Goddess Kali must have made him realize the value of having both eyes intact and i knew he was not about to spin a lie. The virtues of Goddess Kali had been instilled in every kid since the day i can remember.Kali was known to have 'plucked' the eyes off liars and cheats,though not in the estate yet,but back in India,where my mom and dad came from,according to my mom,one can just go to their village and see for themselves the one eyed liars who are still scattered around the village as beggars.
Even I had always offered a hundred prayer verses,or sometimes when i had a few coins left,had put them in the temple's donation coin box and asked Goddess Kali's forgiveness and not to pluck my eyes out,as i had lied for a good reason only,and please help me as she was also a female like me....Such was my faith and i strongly beleived that Goddess Kali really listened to my prayers as she had let me go without plucking my eyes yet!
But now my attention was solely on the news at hand and i reluctantly eyed my remaining sourplum with such passion that the Loose almost lost hope of getting it..I took a generous bite out of it and with a look of regret offered the remaining portion to the Loose,who snatched it hastily and quickly devoured it before i changed my mind.
My friends and I decided to go and see the new arrivals the next day after school and it was agreed that our elders would be informed about our trip to the river bank to look for clay for our art assignment.And I made it clear to them that it would not be a lie either because the thorai's bunglow was situated atop the hill which had the river at its foothills so it wont be like telling a lie and worry about Goddess Kali ,as they would infact look for clay after their sneaking episode of the thorai's bunglow. With that note,we all parted our ways for our homes,the sourplum taste still rich on our tongues and tomorrow's scandolous trip on our mind...
The day after the 'signing' was usually a time for treats at the tawkey's sundry shop,when the 'smart ones' flaunted their prized coins with the Quees's insignia before treting themselves and also their unlucky friends with sour plum sweets,nuts ice-creams and 'pillow sweets' and the popular 'tikam',where the kids paid five sen and tried their luck by spinning the wheel and await their lucky number of ice-creams!
The old tawkey always made sure that non of us spinned the wheel more than once each turn and i wished some other customer would come and distract him just for a second so that i could have a second go for free,but it never happened.
So it was after such a treat that i was sitting with my friends and sucking on the sourplums, enjoying their looks of gratitude towards my kindness and i felt my place as my gang's leader will never be replaced and the feeling gave me a blissful sense of fpeace. The night before,my father gave me a fifty sen coin and patted me on my back for being the top student in the school(a position which i was able to hold to all through my primary schooling years) No one outshined me and i was too proud at times and even challenged my seniors to 'cut' me in any of the exams!
I was enjoying my sourplum noisily and grimaced when the sourness tickled my taste buds and drank the saliva with satisfaction. I noticed that my friends were too engrossed in the sucking process to notice a distant form thundering towards our group.I didnt care much for this vision and we were peacefully engrossed in our task when our calm surrounding was rudely shattered by a sudden shriek!I almost choked on my sourplum when the object of the thunderous shriek presented itself very unceremoniously in our midst,gasping for breath,and dropped to its knees and coughed out clogged flagme and spit.
'Cheeeeeeeeeeeee!' I shreiked angrily when a droplet from the spit landed on one of my toes and planted a hard noisy slap on its owner who in turn cried out and fell on his back!None of my friends liked this 'species' who was the target of snide remarks,insults,jokes and often kicks and pushes from everyone at school because he was the 'Loose'.It was an unwritten law that if you are a Loose,you had to endure mistreatment and never dare to complain about it !
The Loose happened to be one of my gang friends since nobody else wanted to include him in their gang. i was kind enough to accept him despite the fact that none of my other friends wanted him as one of us.I managed to cool them down with a promise that the Loose would be kicked out from our gang by the end of the year and i also reminded them to think about who braved the river to look for clay for our Art lessons and who equally braved the big ,muddy canal to look out for worms so that we could all go fishing in the estate river?
This fact shut them up for good and they began to tolarate his presence with dismay.
The loose cried out loudly in mock pain,as i guessed,because i always knew when one was faking pain,and this time the Loose was acting so that his cry would earn him the remaining sourplum which Ihad in my tightly closed palm.As I sucked on the plum,he could no longer contain the flow of saliva from his own mouth and looked at me pitifully looking for a trace of kindness in my eyes.
'What do you want now!' I thundered at him,still reeling from the shock of his jolting presence.My friends clamoured around me,their leader,and were giving him looks of dismay and hate.The Loose stood up clumsily and pretended to nurse the pain on his back.This only earned him a merciless look from me and he knew he had to play his cards well before i suckled on the remaining sour plum.
He blurted out in a shrill tone,"The new thorai has come!He brought his wife and also kids!
It was the gossip of the estate folks that their European thorai had returned to his homeland to bring back his family before Christmas ans they continued gossiping for weeks regarding the fate of his local mistress who was a Chinese damsel from another estate who came in as an helping hand for the cook and ended up as his mistress!
I had heard my mother talking about it with her friends and since i was shooed away whenever I was spotted near them,i never quite knew what a mistress was.I asked my teacher the meaning and got a stern look and a verbal warning not to repeat it,So i presumed this word was one of those words which belonged to the list of 'no meaning for children'and almost lost interest until a while ago.
I beckoned the Loose to come closer and gave him one of my 'no nonsense or else' look and said, "Tell the truth and not a lie,u beggar,unless you dare to lie and lose your eyes to Goddess Kali,who knows every lie when it was uttered,so help you god!" My warning even scared me as it also scared the wits out of all those around me and the Loose quickly sucked in his own flagm and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.My timely reminder of the Goddess Kali must have made him realize the value of having both eyes intact and i knew he was not about to spin a lie. The virtues of Goddess Kali had been instilled in every kid since the day i can remember.Kali was known to have 'plucked' the eyes off liars and cheats,though not in the estate yet,but back in India,where my mom and dad came from,according to my mom,one can just go to their village and see for themselves the one eyed liars who are still scattered around the village as beggars.
Even I had always offered a hundred prayer verses,or sometimes when i had a few coins left,had put them in the temple's donation coin box and asked Goddess Kali's forgiveness and not to pluck my eyes out,as i had lied for a good reason only,and please help me as she was also a female like me....Such was my faith and i strongly beleived that Goddess Kali really listened to my prayers as she had let me go without plucking my eyes yet!
But now my attention was solely on the news at hand and i reluctantly eyed my remaining sourplum with such passion that the Loose almost lost hope of getting it..I took a generous bite out of it and with a look of regret offered the remaining portion to the Loose,who snatched it hastily and quickly devoured it before i changed my mind.
My friends and I decided to go and see the new arrivals the next day after school and it was agreed that our elders would be informed about our trip to the river bank to look for clay for our art assignment.And I made it clear to them that it would not be a lie either because the thorai's bunglow was situated atop the hill which had the river at its foothills so it wont be like telling a lie and worry about Goddess Kali ,as they would infact look for clay after their sneaking episode of the thorai's bunglow. With that note,we all parted our ways for our homes,the sourplum taste still rich on our tongues and tomorrow's scandolous trip on our mind...
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