The Secret Mission Part two

We were fidgety during class the next day ,our minds full of nothing but our afternoon escapade to the "dorai's bunglow on the hilltop.I was caught day dreaming by my Maths teacher who was a tyrant and was caned 10 times for not answering,and only I knew that I didnt hear his question bcoz i was far ,far away deep in my imaginary land of kaleidoscopic bliss..." a sum sooooooo simple even a one year old can give the answer in a second...the total of 200 plus 209!"I cried out in pain and that got me an extra bonus of 3 more lashes ,bcoz the Maths teacher firmly seemed to beleive that when a pupil crys out in pain,it means she or he was asking for more!!! And I


There were deep red marks on my palm,and i was able to hide it from my mom when she served lunch.(In those days,when we got a sound caning from teachers,we never uttered a word about it to our elders for fear of being thrashed a second time even more painfully bcoz mostly our elders did not use canes as our teachers but they used blocks of wood!)

I gulped my lunch hastily and sped towards our rendezvous near the foothills.When I reached the riverbank,my entire gang was there,waiting anxiously for me and the Loose was as usual sitting alone on top of the rock in the middle of the shallow river staring unseeingly at nothing. He looked so pathetic that i felt so sorry for him and beckoned him to come and get a share of the biscuits that i was able to grab in my haste,for I knew some of my friends wouldnt have had their lunch. The Loose looked at me with grateful eyes and partook of the fare and we sat and munched the Mary biscuits ,while waiting for the only missing member,Rani,who seemed to be late for unknown reason . The Loose started to whistle some obscure tune and we were kind of enjoying this biscuit munching by the riverbank.

The Loose suddenly gasped loudly and the reason for it was,the sudden entry of Rani with her 'big mouth' younger sister !We all began shouting at the same time at the now very frightened Rani,who was quivering visibly with uncontrolled tears running down her pink,fat cheeks.

'.....Im sorry...Im sorry..."quiped Rani,casting fleeting glances at us for mercy.Her sister ,the 'big mouth',seemed to be enjoying all these fuss as her elder sister stood shivering with fright,fearing the wrath of our gang! As the gang leader,I rolled my eyes at heavenward as I dragged Rani aside from the group and demanded an explanation.She has obviously breached the sacred rule of secrecy and i was furious with her!

Amidst sobs and tears ,Rani told me the reason for bringing the big mouth. The big mouth had evesdropped on her conversation with one of the members the night before and blackmailed herself into our mission!As i stared at the big mouth ,she adopted a meeky look and started to scratch her lice infested hair...

I shrugged my shoulders like an adult and walked back to the gang and made my decision clear that the big mouth had to be included in the day's mission for the sake of guarding our secret and everyone agreed.So,the days mission began with an intruder as our unwanted guest and we set off towards the dorai's bunglow.

The secret mission

The rainy season had started and we knew it was only days away before the long school holidays,which would mark the end of the year school term and report cards...frowns..sighs..anger...outbursts and finally the signing. Getting the parent to sign the progress card was the only task each and every pupil of the estate Tamil school faced at the end of every term and the 'smart ones' never cared 'a sen ' for it.They were even eagerly looking forward for that occasion,where after the signing, the smart ones usually got some reward in the form of cash which made them feel somehow above the others who did not fare well.
The day after the 'signing' was usually a time for treats at the tawkey's sundry shop,when the 'smart ones' flaunted their prized coins with the Quees's insignia before treting themselves and also their unlucky friends with sour plum sweets,nuts ice-creams and 'pillow sweets' and the popular 'tikam',where the kids paid five sen and tried their luck by spinning the wheel and await their lucky number of ice-creams!
The old tawkey always made sure that non of us spinned the wheel more than once each turn and i wished some other customer would come and distract him just for a second so that i could have a second go for free,but it never happened.
So it was after such a treat that i was sitting with my friends and sucking on the sourplums, enjoying their looks of gratitude towards my kindness and i felt my place as my gang's leader will never be replaced and the feeling gave me a blissful sense of fpeace. The night before,my father gave me a fifty sen coin and patted me on my back for being the top student in the school(a position which i was able to hold to all through my primary schooling years) No one outshined me and i was too proud at times and even challenged my seniors to 'cut' me in any of the exams!

I was enjoying my sourplum noisily and grimaced when the sourness tickled my taste buds and drank the saliva with satisfaction. I noticed that my friends were too engrossed in the sucking process to notice a distant form thundering towards our group.I didnt care much for this vision and we were peacefully engrossed in our task when our calm surrounding was rudely shattered by a sudden shriek!I almost choked on my sourplum when the object of the thunderous shriek presented itself very unceremoniously in our midst,gasping for breath,and dropped to its knees and coughed out clogged flagme and spit.

'Cheeeeeeeeeeeee!' I shreiked angrily when a droplet from the spit landed on one of my toes and planted a hard noisy slap on its owner who in turn cried out and fell on his back!None of my friends liked this 'species' who was the target of snide remarks,insults,jokes and often kicks and pushes from everyone at school because he was the 'Loose'.It was an unwritten law that if you are a Loose,you had to endure mistreatment and never dare to complain about it !

The Loose happened to be one of my gang friends since nobody else wanted to include him in their gang. i was kind enough to accept him despite the fact that none of my other friends wanted him as one of us.I managed to cool them down with a promise that the Loose would be kicked out from our gang by the end of the year and i also reminded them to think about who braved the river to look for clay for our Art lessons and who equally braved the big ,muddy canal to look out for worms so that we could all go fishing in the estate river?
This fact shut them up for good and they began to tolarate his presence with dismay.

The loose cried out loudly in mock pain,as i guessed,because i always knew when one was faking pain,and this time the Loose was acting so that his cry would earn him the remaining sourplum which Ihad in my tightly closed palm.As I sucked on the plum,he could no longer contain the flow of saliva from his own mouth and looked at me pitifully looking for a trace of kindness in my eyes.

'What do you want now!' I thundered at him,still reeling from the shock of his jolting presence.My friends clamoured around me,their leader,and were giving him looks of dismay and hate.The Loose stood up clumsily and pretended to nurse the pain on his back.This only earned him a merciless look from me and he knew he had to play his cards well before i suckled on the remaining sour plum.

He blurted out in a shrill tone,"The new thorai has come!He brought his wife and also kids!
It was the gossip of the estate folks that their European thorai had returned to his homeland to bring back his family before Christmas ans they continued gossiping for weeks regarding the fate of his local mistress who was a Chinese damsel from another estate who came in as an helping hand for the cook and ended up as his mistress!

I had heard my mother talking about it with her friends and since i was shooed away whenever I was spotted near them,i never quite knew what a mistress was.I asked my teacher the meaning and got a stern look and a verbal warning not to repeat it,So i presumed this word was one of those words which belonged to the list of 'no meaning for children'and almost lost interest until a while ago.

I beckoned the Loose to come closer and gave him one of my 'no nonsense or else' look and said, "Tell the truth and not a lie,u beggar,unless you dare to lie and lose your eyes to Goddess Kali,who knows every lie when it was uttered,so help you god!" My warning even scared me as it also scared the wits out of all those around me and the Loose quickly sucked in his own flagm and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.My timely reminder of the Goddess Kali must have made him realize the value of having both eyes intact and i knew he was not about to spin a lie. The virtues of Goddess Kali had been instilled in every kid since the day i can remember.Kali was known to have 'plucked' the eyes off liars and cheats,though not in the estate yet,but back in India,where my mom and dad came from,according to my mom,one can just go to their village and see for themselves the one eyed liars who are still scattered around the village as beggars.

Even I had always offered a hundred prayer verses,or sometimes when i had a few coins left,had put them in the temple's donation coin box and asked Goddess Kali's forgiveness and not to pluck my eyes out,as i had lied for a good reason only,and please help me as she was also a female like me....Such was my faith and i strongly beleived that Goddess Kali really listened to my prayers as she had let me go without plucking my eyes yet!

But now my attention was solely on the news at hand and i reluctantly eyed my remaining sourplum with such passion that the Loose almost lost hope of getting it..I took a generous bite out of it and with a look of regret offered the remaining portion to the Loose,who snatched it hastily and quickly devoured it before i changed my mind.

My friends and I decided to go and see the new arrivals the next day after school and it was agreed that our elders would be informed about our trip to the river bank to look for clay for our art assignment.And I made it clear to them that it would not be a lie either because the thorai's bunglow was situated atop the hill which had the river at its foothills so it wont be like telling a lie and worry about Goddess Kali ,as they would infact look for clay after their sneaking episode of the thorai's bunglow. With that note,we all parted our ways for our homes,the sourplum taste still rich on our tongues and tomorrow's scandolous trip on our mind...

'The Granny'

The European managers who had been managing the rubber estate where i was born were either from England or Scotland (though at that age and time,i didn't even know where these two countries were on earth!)
These managers were referred to as'dorai' by our folks and they were greatly respected. These Europeans ,apart from managing the plantation, had also made sure that the estate workers' children were educated.
They allowed the building of a Tamil school in the estate and as i recall,they also were responsible for the day care centres in those days.These day care centres came into force to assist working mothers in the estate.One was for the Tamil kids and another for the Malay kids.The Tamil section of the day care centre was run by the 'Loose'sgranny .She was a tyrant who ruled the roost at the day care centre and the mothers were at her mercy!
She tolerated no nonsense from the young moms who occasionally forgot to provide milk powder or pack some dry biscuits for their kids.When this happens at times,she would ramble on and on about it to every tom and dick who had the misfortune to pass by her place!And i was privy to all her ramblings very often bcoz ,as the estate's cheif mandoor's daughter,i could walk in and out of the centre whenever i wanted to.
The minute she sees me,she would call me in and offer her wooden bench to sit upon,and start her rambling.She would point at all the kids whose moms were too uncaring that morning to pack food for them and she would always end her rambling with one single question to those moms,'why bear children when u cant pack at least the leftovers from last night's dinner,ha?'
At first i too repeated this to some of those moms when i happen to see them and got angry retorts in response,asking me to mind my bznez as i was still a kid ,and also that tyrant is a liar who cheated on their one ringgit monthly payment but couldn't make black coffee and give some dry biscuits which were included in the agreement!I dutifully reported the response to the granny who in turn bad mouthed their character as spineless drunkards who were too weak kneed to tell this to her own face.Her angry outbursts always provided me with some luscious gossip which i used to taunt my enemies when they crossed my path,as some of their baby siblings were the granny's charges at the day care centre.
But one day i found out about the granny's secret 'double personality'! I used to wonder why she always stressed on mothers not bringing the left overs to the centre and i was confused how can babies eat left over rice and curry at such a young age.Are they not supposed to drink milk and milk only?But the answer was revealed to me quit accidentally one fateful afternoon when the school toilet had no water and i was forced to go to the back of the daycare centre with my friends to ease ourselves at the drain.
As i finished and stood up to peek inside the centre through the window,i saw the granny rummaging through the baskets belonging to the babies and taking out food and eating it!I was shocked and surprised of this misconduct but kept my mouth shut ,my mind already scheming how to use this to get that precious stone the granny had in her beetle leave pouch,which she claimed was a real gemstone from India! I liked that small,tiny,red stone,shaped like an asam koh,the instant the Loose waved it rite under my nose one day.
As it was temporarily,mind it ,temporarily 'stolen' from his granny,he only allowed me to touch it once,not twice,and my friends were equally in love with its beauty...

I was very happy with this secret and as i walked back to school, i started to whistle happily
and my friends joined in with my happy mood,so there we walked,all holding hands and whistling looney tunes,without a care in the world,thinking about the gemstone and how it could bring us luck!( we never knew about gemstones and their powers,as we do these days,all i wanted was to make it mine.)

But later when i went to the granny with my info about her eating habits,she just shrugged off her shoulders and said,'so what if i ate,since i clean the shit and urine of their kids,ha?And lookhow much they pay?a measely one ringgit and that too is outstanding for a few months now! her outburst got me grinning sheepishly and walking out' with my tails between my butt' and down the drain went my dream of owning the gemstone!

The first 'Encounter'

The 'Loose' was our lookout as long as i can remember.He has been officially appointed by the gang on a hot afternoon during a simple swearing in ceremony,during which,as the gang's leader ,i had hanged a garland of tapioca leaves around his neck,bestowing my blessings on his ability to stay glued to any spot without blinking an eye as long as necessary.

The unsuspecting elders had never bothered to throw a second glance at him ,the reason being he was known to be a 'Loose', just like his mother,and he too suffered from bouts of maniacal mood swings,most of which found him wandering in the rubber plantation,at the banks of a river deep in the forest or even sometimes,behind the estate temple,his eyes gazing unseeingly into nowhere!

'its all bcoz of the moon...' so many said.I had always wondered how can the moon in the sky have anything to do with the 'Loose's moods! But after sometime,i too convinced my gang members that the 'Loose's moods were purely at the mercy of the full moon and no one can do anything about it.

So,the 'Loose' became our source of the estate gossip as well. the elders didn't bother to lower their tones when he was around,or didn't whisper into ears when he was around,so whatever gossip that was being blown up,never missed his ears. And he stayed faithful and promptly reported whatever he heard when we met,and this always earned him a sour plum sweet or an 'asam koh' or even a coin or two depending on the availability.

So,one hot Sunday afternoon,the 'Loose' was on the lookout at the entrance gate to the estate,awaiting the presence of the new Mam ,who had been reported to be on her jogging routine,which also included a visit to the estate tuck shop along the route that evening. He came crashing down the slop of grass where we were reclining peacefully,and blurted out that the Mam was here! We scrambled up clumsily and ran at top speed towards the shop.
And as we reached the shop,i got the first face to face encounter of the white female who was the Mam,and stood gawking at her whiteness! The first thing that affected me about her being was her whiteness!She was as white as snow and though not as beautiful,her disarming smile when she saw us, made me like her instantly.

She said something in a foreign language to the shopkeeper,(later i learned that was English)and he was all 'teeth and tongue' as he nodded his head in agreement.
He quickly called us in and told us to pick whatever sweet we wanted,and he was smiling funnily at the Mam from time to time. We didnt want to miss this golden opportunity so we pointed quickly at all our favourite picks as the Mam looked on indulgently.I kept staring at her so intently that she nodded her head at me.At that instant,the whole world disappeared from under my feet as i shyly smiled back at her,and i was in a state of ephorical bliss that the white Mam has indeed shared those few golden moments with me.(I still remember her face to this date).

I also realized that no matter what ones skin colour was,all it takes is a heart full of love to colour ones life!So,on that day,as we stood in line and blurted out a' dhank u' to her,we knew that she was indeed an angel who lived in that bunglow and she had a golden heart...

The shopkeeper called us 'beggars' and roared with unkind laughter the next day when i went to buy my sweets but we all knew he was simply jealous and his unkind remark didnt bother us at all bcoz we had always thrown much more insulting slurs at him and this was him getting a chance to insult us back,so whats great about it,uh? The most important thing was,we tagged along behind our Mam till the bunglow gates that evening and felt so blissful and happy about it.And no money could have bought us this joy,rite?

The 'Mam'

One fine afternoon,as i was residing majestically on top of a branch of my guava tree,i saw the nerd running towards my home in the distance and i informed the others sitting around the tree and sharing our favourite 'asam kohs'.As i sucked on the sour asam koh,i couldnt help wondering what could have caused the nerd to rush on this mission. Because i saw him trip and fall on the 'old granny' of the clan,grinning apologotically at her curses and yet continued running towards us.
He appeared ,panting for breath,as i was about to start on my last piece of the asam koh.He eyed me and the last piece so eagerly and i could tell he was confident of getting part of it into his mouth as i had a way of knowing such fantasies.Since everyone was deeply engrossed in the sucking process of the asam koh,everyone,including the nerd , understood the heavenly bliss of its sour taste and tons and tons of saliva ,oozing inwards,making one feel so gifted and priviliged to have had this opportunity of savouring its priceless taste!(the othe day,i walked into a shop selling these asam kohs,and almost was delusioned at their present look and texture..so it would be understandable,if someone asks,whats so great about these dried,salty pieces?But the ones in those days tasted so succulent and almost juicy and fresh...even i dont like to eat any of these asam kohs now..)

The day's treat was mine so,the nerd knew i had the last piece and he was at my mercy.No one seemed to be bothered about his presence and he was getting restless.Before biting into the asam koh,i asked him what brought him to my abode that afternoon.As i sunk my teeth into the asam koh,the nerd threw a 'bombshell' which upset me from the comfortable position on the guava branch. My other friends were equally as shocked and surprised as i was and the nerd got very comfortable,now that he was at the centre of attraction and even shagged against the guava tree and scratched his ears and started to dig his wobbly nose.

As he began his tale about the 'dorei's new 'maam',he never kept his eyes away from my asam koh,so i was equally careful not to finish eating it.He told us about this "maam' at the bunglow who was so nice and kind , liked children, and was prepared to buy them sweets at the esate tuckshop.We were truely surprised such a maam exsisted,since the ones we had the chance to take a peek, either had some vision problems for they never looked down their nose tips,always had their heads high, and ,as we understood,hated children!

But,this maam sounded totally different and the one fact,which,even before we met her,had us all drawn to her was,that she loved children,and it made me happy,and as i looked at my gang of friends,i was sure,they too were excited about that fact.It gave us all a kind of joy to know that a'white skin' can have loving feelings towards 'dark skins'..it made us all feel so proud to be loved by this maam..

'we can see her when she comes to the shop today!' the nerd shouted aloud,not with excitement but with scare bcoz i almost had the last portion of the asam koh almost in my mouth,and he wasnt about to go without his share.I remember this childhood episode so well bcoz it really made an impact in my memory bcoz what transpired after this,shed a new light on my perception of the European bosses in my estate.

The Temple

The temple has been a most integral part of my childhood. The temple is till to date,the first thing i remember about my beautiful estate. It stood majestically at the entrance gate to the workers dwellings,commanding an invisible fear and faith,both in the old and the young.

My mom's first warning to me of the Goddess Mariamman,the presiding deity in that temple, was, 'never tell a lie,lest your eyes will be poked by the Goddess'....this much too often uttered warning ,first created enormous fear in me,as it did among my friends ,but i always had this guilty feeling whenever i was about to tell a lie,the lie which at times almost was hanging at my tongue's tip, but never been told for this fear of having my eyes being 'poked' by the Goddess!

Sometimes ,i used to stand at the temple's gated entrance and tried to figure out how the Goddess would 'poke' the eyes of liars since she had been herself 'imprisoned' within those concrete walls. but my mom insisted that 'she had her own way of doing it,so don't u ever dare tell a lie' . It took me some some years to realize how the elders had tried to discipline their offsprings by instilling such fears.I doubt the same tactic could work for the present day kids !

my friends

I just had to tell about my childhood friends who helped me to enjoy the growing up process a memorable one.
Vanaja,the poor one,Panja,the poorest one,Normah,the beautiful one,Salmah,the fatty one,Raju,the coward,Poobalan,the cry face,Krishna,the tailess monkey,and Moorthy,the nerd or 'tiga suku'(he had a history of mental illness even from day one at school). These were my classmates whom i grew up with in that estate school.

And i was 'the Boss' who led this group on the road of a colourful childhood!

We had our own 'friends gang' as did the others. One can join any 'friends gang' just by crossing one's forefinger,a process signifying ripe fruit,to join a group , and if one wanted to leave a gang,one has to cross the little finger with the leader,signifying unripe fruit,and one was free to join whichever desired rival group!

No words were needed,nor explanations sought,but this simple process of crossing selected fingers made or broke a 'friends gang'!

Once one joins a group,he or she was supposed to remain loyal by guarding group secrets,game plans,'war plans' against 'enemy' groups etc..etc...

To become an enemy of these 'friends gangs' one just had to stick out his or her tongue at the rival gang,shout expletives such as,fat pig,orphan dog,cunning cat,coward chicken, and spitting on the ground when one comes in eye contact with the 'enemies'!

We made sure to look out for the the 'enemy's weakness at all times and used it to instill fear in them lest their weakness be revealed publickly!Likewise,we made sure none of our weakness got to them for fear of being ridiculed publicised!

The weaknesses we had to look for were,namely,one's thieving habits,like snatching sweets from the young ones,stealing vegetables from the sundry shop,copying homework from friends,being belt lashed by parents,getting a knock on the head by teachers,getting a taste of the HM's cane,bathing naked in the river, winking at senior girls,writing love notes with spelling mistakes to juniors , acting out scenes from MGR and Shivaji movies ,having a secret girlfriend or boyfriend,and wearing clothes with unnoticed tears and holes at 'prominant' places!etc..etc.. What a wonderful childhood that was! To all my childhood friends,i thank u from the bottom of my heart for making it a memorable one.Wherever u r today,i hope u r as happy as i am today,god bless u all!

friendship

My friends and i used to hang out together almost every waking hour of each day and it was a great experience of our lives.
Together,we made discoveries ,like learning to identify the various kind of fish that lived in rivers and the ugly difference between a toad and a frog,we could tell a mynah from the woodpecker,were able to judge when it was the right time to catch a grasshopper while it feasted on greens..etc,etc.
We were also able to 'handle' mood swings of our parents, we all knew when to ask for an extra coin ,we knew when it was considered ok to put on our kiddish act and be able to get away with insolance!
We were experts at timing too! We knew when to sneak up behind the half blind big towkay and steal his mouth watering 'asam kohs' from those huge jars he kept at the shelves!
We knew when to remain as innocent spectators to our elders' bickerings and quarrels,those fist fights between rival teen groups who just wanted to show their developing muscles to those innocent teen girls with thier often protruding teeth(curtesy of unhygenic dental habits),knee length skirts and oversized blouses who in the pretext of some chores,unfailingly made up a silent group of spectators to such entertainments!
I miss my friends even to this day....

The tale of the guava tree......

when i start on my memory lane,the first honour of precedence should be given to my forgone possession,that is the guava tree which had been planted by my mom infront of our home back in the early sixties.............
the guava tree and i grow up together,though by virtue of nature,it out grew me within a year,and i was still under 3 feet,entering my first year of school.

the guava tree was part of my entire childhood ......bcoz i used to spend almost the entire afternoon and evenings either on it or under it.....and it was that great guava tree which taught me many moral values,infact,my mom suffered many headaches in educating me in that aspect and shamefully failed many times.....but,being a tree,one might wonder,what sort of moral education i got from it...yes,indeed i learned many moral values...such as being selfless,kind,honest,forgiving,trusting,appreciating...etc...etc....

the guava tree induced me to learn tree climbing....and after many a fall,i finally learned to climb it.....and i tell u all out there, if u think u want to feel like a hero,u should go up a guava tree....climbing a tree,any tree for that matter,can free u from all ur inhibitions...it can make one stronger physically while emotionally,we tend to be powerful and in control ......thats why,i think,monkeys get more respect from men than their other counterparts....even today afternoon,i alomst collided on the divider,avoiding a troupe of monkeys,trying to cross the road,wihtout a care in the world either regarding traffic rules or personal safety! more abt the guava tree tomorrow...its time to dream abt it...goodnite...

history of 'ais kapai'

the history of ais kapai is nothing as intriguing as aishwarya rai's elevated cleft but its indeed as cool as the himalayan winter.....
the first ais kapai entry to the estate came about around the early sixties since thats when i began my first steady steps along the rough road from my dwelling to that towkay's shop,clutching a stained 5 sen coin in one hand ,and sucking my fingers of the other hand...
i was 6 when i tasted my first luxurious ais kapai while my cousins looked on enviously,with their drooling tongues...every suck i took from that ais kapai drew more and more drooling from them,and it made me even suck harder at the ais kapai before my mom came out and ordered me to give my cousins a taste of it as well as it was the honest thing to do....but my mom did not come out of the kitchen so i finished my first ais kapai on my own and i guess that was the first sin i committed ,being greedy,tempting others emotionally,incuring jealousy and wrath of my ever present cousins.....anyway the first experince of the ais kapai still remains fresh in my mind,only bcoz i enjoyed it by my self......

note: ais kapai = its scrapped ice shaped into a ball and had thick brown sugar syrup and red
syrup poured over it and dished out on a piece of old newspaper piece.

as i was still crawling.....

i am still thinking how,where and what to write as an intro........i think i shall start with my wonderful childhood years spent in an rubber estate in the early 60s.......children of today can offer to pay a million but still could never savour the childhood of yester years i guess...infact some of them wont even be able to understand what childhood is now...things have definately changed for the worse since i last bought my 'ice kapai' from the towkay's sundry shop in 1960s....nowadyas,kids only know WALL'S.......NESTLEY.......etc..etc...the 'ice kapai' history is indeed history now...i think...